This is an issue that can be fixed even if your kids are older, but it's much easier to fix ASAP.
I had two c-sections. My oldest is twelve; my youngest is four. I was NEVER told by anyone that it is imperative to massage scars. Ever.
My youngest's labor was difficult. I had a stabbing pain with every contraction that no one could understand. A year after his birth, I went to the chiropractor because I was having so much trouble with my back - I couldn't exercise at all, I couldn't walk far or even spend much time on my feet. Turns out my psoas muscle was pulled and had been pulled long enough to pull my lower spine to the left and my left hip was higher than my right. It pulled before or during labor and my son couldn't move because it was like pushing against a brick wall. So I ended up with a c-section for him, too.
My back never wanted to stay in alignment after his birth. Then I found out I also have a small diastasis recti, so I started doing those exercises. Even though I am seriously out of shape, I still felt like they were too easy and weren't accomplishing anything.
A few weeks ago, my husband asked me if I knew anything about scar tissue. Um, no, I've never thought about it. He told me that if an athlete has surgery, they come in and that body part is massaged EVERY DAY for months because they know if they don't, then scar tissue will build up and it will decrease the athlete's range of motion. BUT OBs AND SURGEONS DON'T SAY ANYTHING?!
What were my problems? Varied. Painful sex? Just par for the course, I'm afraid. Secondary infertility for years after my first born (and c-section)? Sorry, sometimes this just happens. Probably related to stress. Back problems? Super common when you have kids. Painful exercise? Probably because of your back. Sorry. Having to pee so often everyone thinks I'm pregnant? You don't have any infections, so it's probably just going to stay like that. It sometimes happens after childbirth. But aren't those cute kids worth it?!
My scar tissue attached across my pelvic floor. It attached to my psoas muscle (that was contracted for over a year), my bladder, and my pelvic bone. It attached to my hips. It was doing something in my torso, because after one rolfing session I could take a deep breath and completely fill my lungs (and I didn't even realize that was an issue - I thought I was just THAT out of shape). Since I have a diastasis recti (DR) my outer abs have shifted away from my center (widening my waist), but there was scar tissue on one side that prevented any exercises from working to narrow that gap.
After one rolfing session, I have been able to do the DR exercises and they made me sore. A good sore ... like you finally managed to work those muscles. It's been amazing. I've been doing these exercises for months and I haven't seen as much progress as I've the first two weeks after rolfing. My hips were loose, loose like you're about to have a baby loose. I'd never realized how tight I was. My back is no longer being jerked out of alignment because it's attached to an adhesion that is pulling it forward. My tailbone no longer tucks. Painful sex? Um, not anymore.
I've been completely amazed and so, so relieved that I don't have to spend the rest of my life as a decrepit old woman. But I am also angry that people are not told about the dangers of scar tissue. Constipation, digestive problems, fertility issues, bladder problems, the list goes on and on. It doesn't have to be a c-section or major surgery, either. Any tears during labor, an injury, heck, any tears anywhere can cause scar tissue to form.
I did not opt for a surgical removal of scar tissue (and the exploratory surgery to see if I had scar tissue). That's the most common treatment, but of course, it's surgery, so you're looking at more scar tissue. So I decided to try rolfing (any targeted deep tissue massage should work) and just one session has done wonders.
Damn Western medicine for making women feel like they can't trust their own bodies. For making them feel that pain and medical issues are "normal" just because they had a child. For discouraging them from looking for answers.